A Very Personal Collection of Memo Fragments
March 3, 2026 @Musinsa Garage
I came to see Kkachisan's solo show. Ever since seeing them at last year's Busan Rock Festival, I'd really wanted to catch one of their solo gigs. But they're so popular (?) that I kept failing to get tickets. Finally, thanks to SomSom's mercenary chance, I barely managed to get in. The venue was Musinsa Garage in Hapjeong. It was a small standing club venue. Since it was compact and mostly female attendees, I could see well even from the back.
While enjoying the show, a thought suddenly struck me. The times I loved bands the most were middle and high school. How different the music of Kkachisan is from the bands I loved back then (Nell, Mate)! And I thought that might reveal my current state of mind.
After navigating my ambiguous and sorrowful teenage years, now that I'm moving through my thirties, the music I love is from a band that sings about 'love'. Isn't that truly a happy thing? Haven't I lived well? And isn't that really lucky?
Truthfully, a few years ago, I often worried about Nell's Kim Jong-wan. Every time he performed, he spoke with the detached calm of someone whose life was nearly over, and that naturally seeped into Nell's music. Songs like '51 Minutes Before,' which he wrote feeling like he might die in 51 minutes, or 'Goodbye,' whose title alone is profoundly meaningful, and so many others were thick with the nuance of death. And perhaps it was Nell's music that helped me endure my own sad and ambiguous teenage years. Could I have liked Kkachisan's music back then? Probably not. To my teenage self, who thought only I was suffering, only I faced hardship, Nell's music was the song that stayed by my side, whispering, "You're not alone," and "I hate life more than death too." Because when you're going through a tough time, what you need most isn't seeing 'someone living well,' but someone who stands beside you on the cliff, sharing your anxiety.
February 21, 2026 @Doldol Kong YouTube channel, words from the author of ⟨Lean Learning⟩
You don't always have to go all in at 100% Use 80% for what you've already said yes to And use the remaining 20% for fun, curiosity, play, and experimentation!
Lean learning Find the fun!
Fun and happy and peace
January 25, 2026 @On the bus home after watching Sirat
Somehow it felt scary to watch alone (?), so I gathered people to watch together and we saw it as a group of four. After the movie ended, I felt strangely exhausted, like my whole body had been beaten up. Was it the constant pounding sound? Or maybe the tension from the 'Shirat' scenes? I saw it at ISU Art Nine, and even then, I wonder if those who saw it at Dolby Cinema didn't get muscle aches. The movie was fun and wasn't as bizarre or scary as I'd feared. From the very beginning, showing the preparations for the rave party and lingering on various details for a full 30 minutes before the film title even appeared, I wondered if it was trying to show that the people here, while appearing rough on the surface, aren't actually evil, nor are they necessarily good—they're just people. You know how there's that religious belief that death, heaven, and hell are judged by heaven and God? But I also wondered if it was slightly shattering that belief. We're powerless, fragile humans who could turn to ash in an instant in the vast desert, yet if we close our eyes, trust ourselves, and keep walking, maybe those dividing lines of heaven and hell mean nothing at all. The film's atmosphere was dystopian, but I saw it as a movie carrying its own hope.
October 31, 2025 @On the flight to Bali
Crescendo A documentary showing the birth of a great artist Yoon Chan-rim… you're the best.
Happy End No, I mean Kouya, Yutaya…All you had to do was love each other. It also reminded me of The Watchmen. Strangely, the near future and the 80s military dictatorship seemed connected somehow? The music stopping during the earthquake, and then starting again on the final overpass… What is this? The directing is really unique. The color palette is unique too. And the part about Zainichi Koreans… Sigh… Being an outsider isn't easy.
Flow Seriously, I can follow this story so engrossingly without a single word spoken. The death of the deep-sea fish. The plate tectonics. The bird's ascent. And cats are forever adorable. Dogs are cute too, but cats are just… truly adorable. Cats… I want to live with one.
Anyway, I want to see all three films again on the big screen in a theater… Ah, I want to build a movie theater.
October 13, 2025 @Ganghwa Island
When I try to write on paper, the words flow smoothly, but when I write in my iPhone notes, they just don't come out right. My thoughts about writing with questions versus writing that flows without questions still linger. Writing with a certain flavor versus writing without it. Let's just set all that aside and think only about the time spent in Ganghwa yesterday and today. What feelings did I experience during that time? What thoughts crossed my mind? Let's focus only on that.
At Jeondeungsa Temple, I heard that dedicating merit to the Buddha and Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva would lead to meeting good people. At the Anglican church, they simply said I could sit and listen. At the Catholic church, they said nothing to me, just didn't stop me from entering. Do I want religion? No, I was someone who already had religion. Do I want to keep that religion as it is? These are times that make me think again about how I want to live. And if I believe in God, and the question I held in my heart at today's workshop: "If I sincerely thank God, can I lean on God?" When I posed the question without mentioning the existence of 'God,' everyone thought it meant leaning on 'people'. But I asked if one could lean on God, not people. Perhaps it's because I don't feel that leaning on God. My twenties and thirties. The things we talk about at Jipyeonsum. And the time after that. About what I want to have. About the words that came after. Why was there a time when I could focus solely on writing? If I return to Bundang, can I eliminate the time I waste aimlessly scrolling Twitter and exploring Instagram?
Seeing Yoonhee-nim, who seemed like a glimpse of myself years ago, made me laugh. Her face even resembles mine. How can someone with so many worries, so many things they want to do, so many interests, become a civil servant? They could, I suppose. But once they do, they'd probably keep wandering around exploring other worlds.
How do I want to live when I return? About the presence of the absolute being I felt here. About the energy of Grandfather Dangun who settled here, about the energy of the Anglican Cathedral built in 1900, about the energy of Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva at Jeondeungsa Temple, the oldest temple in Korea. Beyond all that, what do I want to gain when I return to Bundang? No, I don't need to gain anything.
I recall what Sseom Sseom shared at today's workshop. She said she started theater because she loved creating plays, but at some point, neither the theater nor the audience mattered anymore—only winning awards became important. Seeing herself fixated solely on winning awards, she thought, "Hey, this isn't right." Only then did she realize she was burned out. She said she decided she needed to create entrances and exits, commutes and returns, in her life. All those words resonated deeply. Crossing the bridge back to Ganghwa is an exit; crossing it back to the city is an entrance. That routine must have been such a source of strength for Sseomseom. Feeling that heart made it even more meaningful.
The last conversation I had in Ganghwa was with Fellow Yoo Myeong-sang and Madam Yoo. Madam Yoo believed that with the results being created at the Tech for Impact Lab, Ganghwa Universe could now take another leap forward. She said the expanded Jamiseom could advance further. That we could truly measure these relational populations. Then, by proposing that, we could do more work. She said it could become a model for the region. That became something to look forward to. She said she was feeling this time how truly different it was from outsourcing. She suggested holding a seminar together in March. She mentioned a lecture proposal had already come from the Local Forum side. That I could do this kind of work. During my Tech for Impact interview, I mentioned something. The real problem I wanted to solve was regional decline. But now I could actually do it. And even without me doing it myself. That it could run on the system I built. That was such an amazing thing. When I said, "I didn't do anything," Madam Yoo exclaimed, "Oh, come on! Taylor did it all! Taylor built this entire system!" The lab director also said it was great. I was the one who hired the lab director, and I was the one who wrote the job posting to bring them on board. So, I really did do it, right? On the way back in the car, I said that to Yoonhee. "Ah, I won't have Monday blues tomorrow. I'll be working since Sunday, hehe." It was said jokingly, but it was true. Being able to have this conversation with Madam Yoo at the end of the long 10-day holiday was truly a great fortune.
I really wanted to join a writing group. I wanted to write real stories about the philosophy of technology, about what kind of impact technology can have.