Temperament, Environment, and Outcomes
My innate disposition, the environment that allowed it to take root, and the outcome that blossomed and bore fruit within that environment.
They said I had an innate disposition. I don't know where that disposition flowed in from, but in any case, I was always someone who 'wasn't the culprit'. From a very young age, I was a leader everywhere, quietly strong, and always had something I wanted to do. And I achieved results that satisfied me.
But the environment never let me take only the easy path. It snatched away what I truly wanted and shook me to my core. Just when things started to feel okay, it would tear me down, and I would just crumble right there.
After crumbling, everything vanished from my mind: that I was born with a good disposition, that I was always a leader wherever I went, that I was loved by many people, whether because of my name or my personality, even if I stood out a bit.
Stuck in this environment I'd fallen into, unable to escape or turn back, I could only stand there frozen, wailing.
When this situation repeated itself many times, I even felt despair.
Was I truly helpless? Was I destined to return to this place no matter what? To this quagmire where I couldn't pull my feet free?
Strangely enough, at some point, right at that moment, all the tangled threads wrapped around my feet unraveled, and I felt free. Finally, I felt cool and refreshed. I gained the peace of mind I had always longed for.
They said it was an environment created by my own temperament.
And that the present I enjoy within that environment would, in turn, be accumulated by my disposition.
Therefore, I must fully savor and feel the present moment.
I feel refreshed. It feels like a fresh start! I must cultivate my disposition further to hold onto this feeling for a long time.