Spring in Mongolia and Summer in India, the Reality of the Unreal
My 2018 trip to Ladakh, India, might just have been my last true 'adventure'. Will I ever again be able to embark on a journey like that—with no preparation, complete freedom, and no plan? Back then, I had nothing to protect and no clear desires to fulfill. Now, I have many things I want to safeguard, and the direction I wish to move in is set. So, because I must protect that dream, because my future is precious, I might never again be able to take a 'real trip' where I fully throw myself into danger.
This trip was like that too. As always, I was gasping under the weight of all the things I'd taken on, and my heart was restless. I wanted to travel somewhere, but I had neither the time to prepare nor the courage to leave everything behind. That's when Welli's Mongolian Nomadic Trip ad caught my eye. 3 million won for a 4-night, 5-day Mongolia trip isn't cheap, but I just transferred the money impulsively. A hope lingered in the back of my mind that maybe I could relive that time of 'unreal reality' I experienced seven years ago in Ladakh, India.
Had I changed much? The college student who spent 1.2 million won on a three-week trip to India versus the working adult spending 3 million won on a five-day trip to Mongolia? No, I was exactly the same. Inside the car racing across the long distance, I listened to Nell's 'Island' and hummed the lyrics: "I wish time would just stop like this~ It's so perfect, you can't find any sense of reality." At night, I gazed at the sky filled with stars. I saw cows grazing on the steppe, climbed a low mountain to look down on a village. Amidst vast nature, seeing myself again as just a speck of cosmic dust, I felt humbled. Inside, feelings of resentment and comparison toward others grew, and I practiced yoga freely, just like in India. Through yoga, I confronted that hatred—transforming it into acceptance of myself, love for myself, and simply letting it go. Above all, I was happy. I felt filled with peace and love. I thought how wonderful it would be to live with this kind of heart.
Right after returning from my Mongolia trip, things got tough at work. I thought I'd come back having emptied everything out, that I'd found peace—but there was no way that was true. It was the same when I returned from India. I thought, 'Now I should find a job,' but of course, getting a job isn't something that happens the moment you decide to do it. The months after that were even harder. But as time passed, the nature I saw in India, the people who shared their warmth, the clear blue sky, the rainbow arching above it… all those scenes and that time shaped me. The five days in Mongolia will probably do the same. It's only been a week, so maybe I don't know yet.
Next week is the move. Once I move, set up my space, tackle company tasks one by one, and in between play squash and do yoga, the day will come when the emptiness I felt in Mongolia becomes my everyday state of mind.
| ** | Photos from the Mongolia Trip** |
