Fig Chutney Sandwich
The building where I work is a landmark in Pangyo. It's even featured on the cover of Jang Ryu-jin's book The Joy and Sorrow of Work. Truthfully, I've never actually worked inside that building. To me, it's just a place for the gym, cafeteria, baseball team events, library, counseling rooms—that sort of thing. When I joined, the company had around 2,000 employees. In just five years, that number nearly doubled. As a result, it became difficult to accommodate everyone in the main building, so they started leasing nearby buildings. I've worked in an external office building since joining the company. My department is the Platform Department. A platform department in a game company? You can tell just by the name it's not the main business. To be precise, it's a technical support department. I've never done work that directly brings in money. That wasn't what I meant to say, but I got sidetracked. Anyway, since I work in a rented building, not the main office, there's no company cafeteria. I wondered why they couldn't build one in the rental space, but apparently the landlord objected, citing concerns about the surrounding commercial area. Instead, they offer a meal voucher point system usable at nearby restaurants and operate a takeout service for simple meals, salads, and boxed lunches. This takeout is operated by Hyundai Green Food, and honestly, it wasn't particularly tasty. Especially the boxed lunches… hmm… the salads too… hmm….. Still, if there's one thing I absolutely loved, it was the sandwiches. Specifically, the fig chutney sandwich. While other boxed meals sometimes felt sparse, the sandwiches were packed full of truly fresh ingredients. They were a staple at the Wednesday dinner takeout. Unless I was leaving before the dinner takeout started, I made sure to grab one every single time. Even on days last year when just going to work felt agonizing, I still brought home a sandwich. There were days I'd sit on the living room floor, not even bothering to unfold the tray or turn on the lights, just staring blankly while eating the sandwich. Today was another tough day. I tell myself to stay positive, that I shouldn't torment myself by regretting or dwelling on the past, but demo days are truly unbearable. Just seeing what that person did, just being in the same space, makes the pain pile up layer by layer. I thought I'd be okay by now, but the fact that I'm still not okay makes me resent myself. No one cares anyway. And no one knows anyway. It feels a bit stupid that I'm the only one suffering like this. Today's fig chutney sandwich was, as always, fresh and delicious. Truthfully, today is the last day I can have this sandwich. I wish it were because I'm leaving this place, but it's just that the contracted operator is changing next week. I won't be able to have this delicious sandwich anymore. As I ate my last fig chutney sandwich, I wished this moment—sinking back into the painful memories of last year—could also be the last.