[Finding the Shape of My Place] #0. Is a Dream the Same as a Job?
"What's your dream?"
Every time I was asked this question, my mind went blank. It was easy in elementary school. All I had to do was write down a career my parents would approve of—like 'teacher' or 'Korean medicine doctor'—in the 'future aspirations' section. But at some point, this question started to feel complicated. Is a dream the same as a career? Is a career the same as what I do?
Dream = Career = Work
When I entered middle school, I started reading books like crazy. Maybe that's when I finally started thinking for myself. In my first year of high school, I read the JoongAng Ilbo newspaper diligently, but it was full of stories about 'software' and 'IT'. Naturally, I became interested in computers and started writing 'computer programmer' or 'IT-related work' in the future aspirations section. Back then, I thought dreams, careers, and work were all the same thing. Going to a computer science department and getting a job at Samsung. That was my dream, my career, and my work.
Dream = Work, Work ≠ Career
But then, in the spring of my senior year, I encountered Sogang University's Art & Technology Department during a JoongAng Ilbo department tour. The moment I saw the 3D video based on 'Walden' that the professor showed us, my heart raced. Ah, it didn't have to be Samsung after all. I felt that I could be happy doing work that combined art and technology.
It was the first time I had my own 'dream,' separate from a 'job.'
From then on, I started building my portfolio. My grades and mock exam scores meant Sogang University was completely out of reach, but I had this inexplicable confidence. I didn't tell my homeroom teacher and prepared alone for five months. When summer break ended and I showed my portfolio to the teacher, contrary to my expectations, they didn't say, "With your grades, Sogang? Forget it." Instead, he said, "You can do anything." He seemed to believe my portfolio showed real potential. While many more people trust me now, back then, my senior year homeroom teacher was the only one. The faith he showed in me became a powerful force guiding many of my choices afterward. Thanks to that belief, I could prepare steadfastly without getting swept up in admissions anxiety. Although I didn't even pass the document screening for Sogang University's ATEC, I was accepted to other schools with that portfolio, so in the end, it was a success.
New Reflections on Dreams and Work
Even after entering university, my reflections on dreams and work continued. I entered university with the dream of becoming a technology artist and engaged in various activities across countless boundaries where it was unclear whether they were dreams or work. Among these, the 'Cipri' project felt closest to my dream. It began with the Stop Dumping Music campaign, which argued that music copyright policies were unfavorable to artists, and evolved into creating a mobile CD player app to help people listen to CDs more. I completed it with my classmates and even held a presentation, but strangely, I became incredibly depressed afterward. Why did I feel this way after achieving my dream?
Around that time, book clubs and the village community occupied a large part of my life. We read and discussed one book each week, learned guitar together, and shared delicious meals. During a time when my heart felt hollow, sharing new people and new ideas was a tremendous stimulus.
An older sister I met in the village community once said to me: "A dream isn't a job; it's a sentence."
She told me to think not about what I wanted to become, but what kind of person I wanted to be. Not a noun, but an adjective. That a dream isn't my final destination, but the process of becoming. My heart raced at this entirely new perspective on dreams.
In The Eighth Room, which we read together in the book club, I heard even more diverse stories about dreams. Someone whose dream was to avoid becoming a curmudgeon, someone whose dream was to feel their heart race when thinking about their future, someone whose dream was to succeed in society… Only after hearing all these stories did I finally realize: that dreams and work, work and occupation, dreams and jobs could be thought of separately.
The year I turned twenty, I became completely immersed in this complex and fascinating dilemma.